Infatuation
by m klindt
Summary: Someone has a deadly crush on one of the UNCLE Section Two agents. Part of my Lexi series
1. Chapter 1

Infatuation

By

M. Klindt

I don't own the characters from The Man from UNCLE, but like to have them play with the ones I've created. Thank you for reading my story. This is part of my "Lexi" series.

Chapter One-

"Now," Lexi continued loudly into Caitlin's protective headgear. "Relax your shoulders, let your left hand to support the right and the butt of the gun, widen your stance, and take aim."

Caitlin nodded. She took a quick breath in and started shooting the target at the end of the firing range. Lexi nodded her approval while she watched and then walked over to the next stall to see how Cassidy was doing.

Cassidy was Lexi's partner, Dr. George Thompson's wife. George and Lexi worked together in one of UNCLE's chemistry labs when she wasn't working in Section Two. Cassidy was taller than Lexi by about half a foot and eight months pregnant with her second child.

"Oh, pooh," Cassidy grumbled and looked at the shots she'd fired. Most of them were wide of their mark and barely on the sheet. She looked at Lexi, then down and patted her enlarged belly. "You, little one, are throwing off my aim. What would your father say?"

Lexi and Caitlin both laughed. Caitlin came around the corner with her gun in her hand. She set it down on the ledge and stood by the other ladies. Caitlin had been Napoleon Solo's steady girlfriend for over two years now.

Members in this little group of women were very different from each other, but became fast and steady friends. The only one missing was April Dancer, but she was off on assignment with Mark Slate. The rest of the group decided to go to a private shooting range and out to lunch for their weekly gatherings.

Cassidy was the tallest with dark blond hair and plain features, but a great smile. Caitlin's strawberry-blond hair shone in the darkened alley. Her athletic form sported the latest fashions without a speck of dust or dirt on them. Lexi was the shortest among the three with her rich, dark, auburn hair pulled back in a tight ponytail that reflected her military and scientific background in her stance, and she had magnificent blue eyes.

"Well, I think that he would be pleased as punch to know you're still able to protect yourself and your family while he's working at headquarters, even though your aim is off." Lexi smiled and took off her ear protection. "I think that both of you have improved so much over the last couple of years."

"Has it been two years already?" Caitlin asked, smiled and brushed her hair away from her face to reveal a diamond earring in her left ear.

"Oh my god, Caitlin!" Cassidy stammered, waddling closer to look at the large stone, and then checking the other earring. "They're beautiful. Napoleon really knows how to celebrate an anniversary."

"Yes, he does," she agreed with the sharp smile she saved for her clients in her computer business. "I got them last week before they took off for a mission. Do you know where they went Lexi?"

"No, I was on a currier assignment," Lexi sighed lightly. She really did know where they went, but couldn't tell either one of them.

The one thing that didn't change since she had joined UNCLE from the KGB was the waiting to find out if Illya was hurt and being there for him. Since growing up together and being partners at a young age, they shared a close relationship despite all their separations; a loving relationship, if you agreed with those around them.

Lexi involuntarily shivered at words and thoughts of love, sharing, and caring. It wasn't in her makeup to care about friends and truly love one person, yet, here she was with female friends and a man that cared for her. She was fearful that this was all a dream and that she would soon have to wake up.

Each of them was quiet for a few moments deep in their own thoughts of the past two years in the mighty shadow of UNCLE.

"Hey," Cassidy exclaimed rubbing at a ripple that ran across her swollen tummy. "Stop that, you. This kid is telling me that we need to stop standing around and go to lunch; junior here is getting hungry. Whose turn is it to pick?"

"I think its Caitlin's turn." Lexi smiled and turned to pick up one of the guns to remove the empty clip.

"Nothing too spicy," Cassidy said in warning. "You know what happened last time."

"I know the perfect…" Caitlin started to say.

"Excuse me ladies." A deep, strong male voice called out and a shadow emerged from the blackness of the hallway. Lexi and Caitlin grabbed the guns on the ledge in one parallel, liquid movement and pointed them at the stranger.

"Whoa," The figure rose his arms up in surrender while he came into the light near the shooting stalls. He was a handsome, muscular man with hazel-green eyes and dark brown hair. He was in a simple black suit with a bouquet of red roses in one of his hands. "I'm really very harmless."

"Joe, Joe Lewis?" Lexi asked before she lowered her gun. It was empty, but he didn't need to know that. "How did you find me…us?"

"I wouldn't be working for the FBI if I didn't know how to find people," Joe smirked and stood really close to Lexi. She fidgeted when he gave her the wrapped flowers. "These flowers are for you, my dear. I do have to admit it took me a while to track you down. I came to ask if you wanted to go to lunch, but I see that you're with your lady friends."

"Lexi drove," Cassidy blurted out, forgetting that she was Monica to most people and Lexi gave her a hard stare.

Caitlin grabbed at Cassidy's arm when she realized her mistake and wordlessly apologized to the others.

"Lexi," Joe broadly smiled back down to his target with this new information. "Care to introduce me?"

Caitlin and Cassidy looked from the man to Lexi whose face turned from shock to sheer irritation. As this man focused his attention back on them, they tolerantly smiled at him and waited for Lexi to explain what was going on while she introduced them to him.

"This is Joe Lewis," Lexi said in a stiff, controlled voice. She purposely didn't state their names. "He's the FBI agent that I met after an accident I had at work and he took me to the hospital. After that, he came to the office with flowers and a teddy bear."

The other two women looked at each other and knew about the beating she'd taken in a mission a few months ago. It was agreed to say as little as possible about where she, Napoleon, Illya, and George worked. The two women knew that Lexi had used the cheaply made bear for target practice when she was well enough. It was a group gathering to celebrate the removal of the wires that held her jaws shut while they healed.

"Nice to meet you, Joe," Caitlin said roughly. She lowered her gun after Cassidy nodded in agreement. "Monica hasn't mentioned you. Not one single word."

"Well, I'm trying to wear her down." Joe smiled warmly down at Lexi. "She agreed to have lunch with me to thank me for saving her life a while back, but said that her UNCLE Waverly wouldn't allow more than that. I personally think she's playing hard to get."

"Joe, I've told you several times…" Lexi started to repeat the same rhetoric she gave him every time he called or unexpectedly showed up at UNCLE to Waverly's agitation. This was the first time he found her outside headquarters.

"She has plans for lunch with us," Caitlin said firmly to give him an obvious hint. It appeared to her that Lexi was trying to give him the same hint to get lost for a long time now.

"Of course she does." Joe smiled brightly. "I will wait until later tonight."

"Joe, I…" Lexi started to say, trying to control her anger and her body began to shake. "I have a boyfriend."

"I wouldn't doubt it, but I'll get you to change your mind." Joe's smile didn't dim while he retreated back into the shadows and disappeared from sight. "Until later, Lexi..."

"Finally," Lexi sighed out loud, threw the flowers in the trash, and started to fill the clip in her hand with bullets from one of her pockets.

"Is that the crazy fellow George keeps talking about?" Cassidy asked.

"Yes, I've been trying to blow this guy off, but he hasn't taken "no" for an answer," Lexi shrugged and tried waving her frustrations away. "I don't want to have to hurt him, but he's pushing me past my tolerance level. This was the first time he found me without Waverly or George around."

"This could become scary," Caitlin chimed in while loading the other gun's clip, placing it in her purse, and then closing it. "I know that it took the cops to get rid of this one guy for me a few years ago."

"Yes," Lexi said with grinding teeth and jutted her jaw out to the position where it had been wired shut. "I'll have to deal with him later."

"Promise me one thing, Lexi," Cassidy asked her with a serious face, but with a small twinkle in her eyes. "That you only maim him and not kill. Waverly would send you back to Siberia if you put a permanent stop to his stalking."

"No," Lexi laughed out and handed her Psychologist friend back her gun. "I think that with all the trouble that Joe has been giving his boss and mine, Waverly would probably promote me if I did put a definite end to all of this."

"Well, I think we should get out of here and go eat," Caitlin changed the subject and looped her arms into the other women's arm and they all walked out of the firing range together. "Some place where FBI agent Joe Lewis can't find us, although he is easy on the eyes."

"Caitlin, your lust for sex is just as bad as Napoleon's," Lexi grunted out a small chuckle. "If you want him, you can have him."

"Have you told Illya?" Cassidy asked with some concern in how he would react.

"No," Lexi shook her head. "Why bother him with trivial matters? Joe will get the message, even if I have to beat it, not kill, into him."

Both Caitlin and Cassidy looked at each other with concern over Lexi's head, but didn't say anything. They hoped that she would tell Waverly before it could get out of control and changed back again to the subject to where to go to lunch.

MFU/MFU

"I don't want to talk about it anymore!"

"Where are you going?"

"To the gym to run before I do something I'll regret, like punching you!"

"Lexi!"

"Enough!"

Napoleon and Illya were walking down the hallway when Lexi stormed by. She'd barely acknowledged them except to huff out a grunt and say, "Men!" while dashing away.

After watching where she was trotting off to, they turned around to see an upset George Thompson stand in the doorway of their shared lab with his hands on his hips and a look of frustration on his determined face.

"Oh hey, Napoleon, Illya," he brightened up; he was happy to see them. "Just getting back?"

"Yes and in one piece, for a change. Only a few bruises," Napoleon calmly said. He looked at the taller man and then back to where Lexi's furling lab coat had disappeared to. "Things go well while we were gone?"

"Oh, you know, never a dull moment." George rolled his eyes expressively.

The chemist wasn't quite sure if he should tell them about Lexi's new friend or let her do it. He'd just got done fighting with Lexi go to tell Mr. Waverly about the unexpected offer for a lunch date and didn't know what she would do to him if he told Illya. Lexi wanted to keep it a personal matter after getting lectured by the boss man about Lewis's frequent phone calls and visits.

"What kind of trouble has she started now?" Illya asked flatly. His eyes were boring holes into the doctor.

"Nothing that she thinks that she can't handle on her own," George sarcastically mocked Lexi's tone during their growing argument. "No need to worry Illya about it."

"Oh, lord," Napoleon cursed softly, looking about the hallway. "Let's talk in your lab."

All three of them went into the lab and George began to tell them what his wife, Cassidy, saw and heard at lunch yesterday with the girls. After the encounter, Lexi was even more tight-lipped than usual and didn't tell anyone where she was going afterwards.

"Her own private lab would be my first guess." Illya said matter-of-factly. "You're lucky, George."

"Me, why?" he asked with concern.

"Because when Lexi gets nervous or angry, she tends to lash out without cause," The blond agent unconsciously rubbed his right shoulder. He smiled blankly for a moment, remembering a rare fight they had had and the scar it had left.

"And, don't worry, she'll handle Mr. Lewis. One man got his nose broken before he got the hint and another one got a nasty kick to the groin that required surgery."

"I just get chills thinking about that," Napoleon playfully shivered. "I'm glad you told us, George, and I will let Waverly know. Dealing with the FBI can be touchy. Lexi can get mad at me all she wants. Like my partner here, she's always fine and doesn't need help..."

"If this is your glib attempt to guilt me into submission and go talk to her, fine, but I'll send her to you when she wants someone to scream at," Illya smirked. "I take it that she went to the gymnasium to work out her anger instead of beating you to a pulp, George?"

"Yes," George said with a slow nod.

He and Napoleon watched Illya gracefully turn on his heels, pulling open the door just wide enough to let him through, and then quietly it shut again.

"Now tell me all you know about this Joe Lewis." Napoleon turned to George and he became the CEA of New York headquarters right before his eyes. "What did you find out in Records?"

"How did you know...," George began in shock.

"George, you're not a dumb man and what won't you do for a partner? Even if she's stubborn and won't ask for help."

"Illya doesn't seem too concerned." He glared at Solo with a barely controlled tone in his subtlety miffed voice similar to that of an older, over-protective brother.

"Oh, don't let either one of them fool you," Napoleon lightly berated him for his accusation. "Illya is very concerned. He just hides it well. You're new to the super spy game; Lexi's a novelty to all those around her. Just like April is. For years they've had to hide, deny, and reject their feelings for each other."

"Understood," George said sheepishly after the deserved scolding. "Joe Lewis is a highly regarded FBI agent currently assigned to the New York office. Before that, he worked in Washington on detail with Embassy Row. Records couldn't find out anything else out about personal activities; not a single parking ticket. He lives in Manhattan."

"Thanks for the info, George." Napoleon sighed. "I had better go check in with Mr. Waverly and tell him we're back."

"Hey, Napoleon," He said softly.

"Yes."

"Make sure she listens to someone. I hate to lose my partner to the FBI."

"Don't worry," Napoleon smiled warmly. "I'd hear it from mine, Caitlin, and your wife if Lexi ran away and joined the bureau. I'll call you later after I try to talk to her. Maybe I should take something to distract her with."

"Nuts." George popped his head up and grinned.

"What?" Napoleon stopped in his tracks and turned around just as he was about to open the door.

"She likes nuts, the more exotic the better. It works for me some of the time when I can get her to eat."

"I'll keep that in mind." Napoleon laughed while he opened the door and stood holding the handle. "But, I would have to get them away from Illya first. She'd feed him before she would herself. See ya around, George."

"Later." George nodded, happy with his decision to tell them about Lexi's stalker. Now, he would have to deal with her after Napoleon and Waverly got done with her. He just hoped that she would forgive him.

MFU/MFU

Illya walked into the gym and eyed a familiar figure stretching in the corner by the rubber mats. She wore plain grey sweat pants, a short-sleeve shirt, and had hand protectors hanging loosely from her wrists. Her auburn hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail that spilled over her head. She was bent over with her chin to her knees.

Slowly, he walked over to her while he was taking off his jacket and slid his gun holster off his shoulder. Setting his coat and gun down at the edge of the foam mat, he heavily sat down beside her.

Lexi didn't even look to see who it was before she hopped to her feet, flipped on the hand protectors, and walked up to the pull up bar. With a single jump, she grabbed the bar and settled her hands to get a good grip.

"This isn't my fault." She grunted out in their special language, hanging there, finally looking at Illya before she pulled her chin over the bar.

"It's never your fault." Illya continued in the same indignant tone and language. He'd flipped off his shoes, stood up, and joined her at the hanging bar. "You're dropping your vowels."

"Are you going to lecture me about how I should handle this?" Lexi ignored the last comment and pulled herself up several times before she let go of the bar to finish her stretching. She started to walk to the track with Illya in tow.

"Should I," he softly asked her when she swept by and stood passively holding his jacket and holster in his hands watching her bend down into a deep lunge. "George seems worked up."

"That's because he thinks I haven't talked to Waverly about this." Lexi darkly smiled, stopped what she was doing, and looked him. "He left it to me to handle Special Agent Lewis my way. He doesn't want any more attention drawn to this unless it becomes an issue."

"And yesterday," Illya asked and stood close enough to smell her subtle perfume and shrewdly searching into her eyes; knowing when she was telling him the truth or lying.

"Was a silly ploy," her smile deepened while she moved closer to him to pick some imaginary speck off his coat. "I wanted to see if he was going to take it to the next level. I went straight to the firing range from headquarters. I drove so that he could easily find me if he wanted. I needed to see how he'd react in front of an audience and the threat of a boyfriend."

"And how did he do?" Illya grinning at their closeness, but they still had to keep some professional distance in the busy gym.

"Oh, he was caught off guard, but he recovered well. He's going to be a problem." Lexi started to look around them to see who was there. She nodded at the trainer on duty when she'd caught his eye and he checked her into the fitness schedule.

"I may need help from my boyfriend. You know, to introduce themselves as my lover to Joe and see if he breaks off the attachment or becomes even more possessive. Do you know any one that could help me, Napoleon, perhaps?"

Illya laughed out loud and smiled at the smart remark. His hand brushed hers on the jacket. "I'm sure that he'd be honored."

"I want to feel you …" Lexi started to purr quietly to him.

"Hey, Kuryakin!" A shout from the gym trainer caught their attention and others to make them stick out even more. Now, the whole place was watching their every movement. "Either get some sweats on and start running or go; Lane owes me three more miles for this week. You can play footsy with her later."

"Hail, Hitler." Kuryakin murmured under his breath for only Lexi to hear, but he nodded and started to back away.

"And, comments like that will get you more miles to run."

Lexi chuckled and gave him a few hand signals, stepped back as well, and started to jog. Illya nodded in agreement and watched her trot to the other side of the gym. She gave the trainer another not-so-nice hand gesture when she sped by him. Shaking his head, Illya turned and left the gym to go back to his office before finding Napoleon.

"For that, Lane, I'm adding two more miles to satisfy your fitness requirements for today and cursing me in a language I don't know will only add more miles if you don't watch it."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two-

"Lewis here."

"Sir," a female voice jumped in. "I've finished my assignment."

"Report," FBI agent Joe Lewis said softly. He wanted to know what exactly had happened so he would know how to proceed. "Tell me everything, Agent Starkey."

"Well," the junior agent started. "I saw her leave from UNCLE's employee's entrance around seven in the evening. At first, I thought it wasn't her because her hair was different from the photo you gave me, but the bone structure and face are correct. She's wearing black stretch pants with a psychedelic print, knit top. There's a denim knapsack slung over her shoulders."

"Where did she go?" Joe prompted. He knew that Monica Lane, now Lexi had dyed her hair since their lunch date a few weeks ago where the photograph was taken.

"She started to walk for a few blocks, took the subway to the Village, and then a bus to a rundown diner near the airport." He could almost hear her shrug her shoulders in disinterest to all the running around in New York. "It's here she met her boyfriend. Good looking if you're into blonds with blue eyes. I prefer…"

"I'm not interested in him or your opinion, Agent Starkey." Lewis angrily blurted out. "Are you sure that he's her boyfriend. Not just a friend?"

"Oh, there's no mistaking it by how they look at each other." Starkey whistled as she casually watched them from the phone on the wall in the back of the diner. "They're leaning in real close and smiling a lot. Sir, what is this all about? I mean, I'm more than happy to do surveillance, but what am I watching for? What does she do at UNCLE that Gibbons would want us to observe her movements and then you bring her in?"

"That is what I'm trying to find out." He grumbled over the phone. "She's the one we found out side of our offices injured. Gibbon's sent me to check on her at their headquarters to find out her condition and what she does there. It's all very guarded."

"Who do you think she is?" She asked, now intrigued. "Is she a new Section Two agent, Section Three, or an informant? After hearing them talk, I can't figure out what language they're speaking, although she did sound like she was from a Mid-Western state when she put in her food order."

"Agent Starkey," Lewis stopped her. "I know that this mission has peaked your interest, but I need to know if you gave her it."

"Yes," Starkey straightened up. "The waitress was more than willing to let me bring them their drinks and food once I showed her my badge and a ten dollar bill. I put the mickey in both their drinks. They should be feeling its full effects in about twenty minutes."

"How much did you give them?" A concerned voice asked.

"Enough for them to look drunk, but not to pass out," the younger agent said. "Their memories will be foggy. I'll call if they don't leave here on their own once they figure out they've been drugged. We're at the Silver Car Diner on Benton and Brody."

"Great, I'm on my way," Lewis said in a distracted voice. Starkey could hear him talk to someone, but couldn't tell who. "Watch them, but don't get in the way, I'll take it from when they leave the diner. You can go home after that. You've done a great job and I'll tell Gibbons. Don't mention your assignment to anyone until we get a chance to get her to our offices."

"And the boyfriend," she asked while she glanced back at them and watched them lightly grope each other, the drug making them less inhibited.

"A night in jail for intoxication will cool his heels and she will be there as well when she wakes up. She won't remember much of our little meeting.

MFU/MFU

Illya watched another waitress bring them their food and coffee with a suspicious eye. "What happened to the other lady?"

"Liz went on break." The young waitress flatly said, finishing her answer with a snap of her gum, and a bored look on her face. "It's a slow night and she wanted to call her guy."

Illya remembered seeing "Liz" on the nametag that other young woman was weary. He relaxed for a moment and took his plate of food from her. Lexi was watching him from the corner of her eye and smirked. She understood his paranoia and was leery as well. She grabbed the ketchup from atop of the table and started to shake it.

"Must you?" Illya groaned. It had been a running joke for Napoleon to put that vinegary, tomato slop on everything he ordered for them to eat while out on a stakeout.

"What?" Lexi stopped in mid-motion, gave him a puzzled look, and then remembered Illya's detest for the red condiment. "Sorry, but it's good on fries with salt. It's very American."

"You've been hanging around New York too long," He grumbled and then cringed at the farting noise the bottle made when the ketchup splattered onto the plate.

"I know, and that's what I need to talk to you about." She blew on a hot fry before popping it into her mouth.

Illya nodded and he looked down on his meal. It was a roast beef sandwich with potatoes and gravy. He turned the plate ninety degrees and started to swirl everything together.

"I had a talk with Mr. Waverly while you were gone." She cut her burger in quarters. "He wants me to talk to you about me moving to Section Three."

"What! Why?" Illya asked stunned, barely swallowing the food in his mouth. "Why would he want you to change? All the work you've done and going through Survival School?"

"I know, but he's still worried about me and my loyalties." She grabbed his hand with hers for a quick moment. "I don't have the usual partner and I refuse to leave George for another Section Two agent who would keep tabs on me. He said that I could go abroad if I would change my mind, but I've enough to keep me busy already."

"Is that what you want to do?" He asked as he grabbed his cup of coffee at the same time as Lexi picked up her glass of soda with the straw at her lips.

She gave a non-committal shrug and took a big sip while he drowned half of his cup in one swallow. Both grimaced at the taste.

"Choryt, that coffee is bitter." Illya coughed out when he noticed Lexi's confused look when she took another sip. She was concentrated on savoring the taste of her carbonated drink. "What's wrong?"

"My cherry coke is too sweet." She pushed the rest of the drink away from her in disgust and brought up the subject of moving to Section Three up again. "He did give me another option to stay in Section Two."

"Let's hear it," he said between bites of food choosing to drink his water to wash it down instead of the super, strong coffee.

"I would mostly stay in New York and only be farmed out to other offices where my special skills are needed for extra help in missions."

"What do you want to do?" Illya asked again, his mind starting to buzz when he began to feel more relaxed.

"I don't know," she said in weaning frustration, wrapping her arm around his and snuggled into him instead of finishing her food. "Right now, I don't care. It's just nice to sit here with you…"

Lexi started to rub her cheek against his shoulder and giggled. Odd, Illya thought he was feeling warm and giddy himself, like he'd quickly drunk a few shots of vodka, but they didn't have any alcohol to drink.

Reacting through the thickness of his mind, Illya grabbed his communicator pen from his coat pocket and leaned back into Lexi. Pretending that they were getting more intimate, almost groping each other.

"Open Channel D, Napoleon." Illya whispered harshly into the small microphone.

"Ah Illya, your timing is impeccable as usual. I was just going to see a show with Joyce from accounting. Caitlin's gone this week and I wasn't invited to your little party…"

"Shut up and listen." Illya grunted out.

"Hi, Nappy…" Lexi blurted out with a funny chuckle.

"Shhh, Lexi." He shook her to quiet her. "Look, Napoleon we've been drugged. You have to come get us before someone else does."

"Do you think that you can stay where you are or do I need to chase the two of you all over Manhattan?" Napoleon quipped when he became all business.

"I think it would be easier for us to get out of here and meet closer to the airport. Say by the Sundown Bar off of Boyrum Street?" Illya tried to clearly think where they were in the city and would be a safe place to meet.

"Fine," Napoleon said in resignation. "Twenty minutes. Don't be late."

"Oh, I think I would rather go to Kirkland's…" Lexi hummed. "But, I don't really want to go out, darling; I'd rather go home or find a hotel and let you have your way with me…"

"Not now, Lexi." Illya looked around before he fished out his wallet and threw some bills on the table. "Come on, we're going."

He grabbed her by the arm and pulled roughly from the table and they staggered out of the diner. Lexi followed his lead out the door. Not weighing as much or having as much food in her stomach as he did, she was more susceptible to the drug's effect. It didn't help matters that he was more of a social drinker than she was.

If this weren't a trap, he would've laughed along with her as she became more seductive and uninhibited. Shortly, they made it to the sidewalk to begin their journey to the Sundown Bar.

Without provocation, Lexi slipped her hand from the one that he had been using to pull her along and she ran laughing into a darkened alley between two buildings. She suddenly disappeared, much to Illya's anger and fear. Her throaty laughter was all he had to work with.

"Lexi," Illya swore under his breath, his head spinning. Now he had to find her before meeting up with Napoleon. The fearful thought of a stalker coming after Lexi floated through the growing confusion.

With his hand on the hilt of his gun, Illya unsteadily walked slowly around a dumpster only to be grabbed by a pair of hands, twisted by the lapels of his jacket, and then pushed up against a brick wall. Lexi had her lips on his before he could react. Illya dropped his hand from the gun holster and held her tight while she devoured his tongue.

"We need to finish this later," he said, reluctantly trying to pull away and remembering how to breathe again. "We need to get out of here and have to find Napoleon."

"But, Caitlin told us that he was off limits to us," Lexi purred in his ear, nibbling on it, and holding him close when he began to bodily carry her back to the sidewalk. "I want to go somewhere so we can be alone…"

"Soon," he whispered through her hair, set her down, grabbed both of her arms again, and started to physically walk her down the block.

Illya shook his head; the drug was taking its full effect on him. His determination and thoughts were wondering and he was reacting to Lexi's warm body and heavy petting. Several times they had stopped to kiss and grope each other. He was forgetting why they had to walk to the Sundown Bar.

Slowly they made their way to within a half a block of where they were to meet Napoleon. They caught the flash of a police car's bubble gum headlights and then the siren chirped once to get their attention to stopped.

A harsh light was flashed in their eyes, making them squint and blinding them to who was stopping them. Voices rang out from around the blinding white light and two black forms came up beside them.

"Where are you two going?" asked one of the shadowy figures.

"Verrr going to see Nappy," Lexi slurred out and continued to wrap herself around Illya.

Illya stiffened up, but a silly smile crossed his face and he chuckled at the nickname she had given his dark-haired partner.

"How much have you two had to drink tonight?" The officer shined the light into their faces. I need to see some identification, Mister."

"Yes, officer," Illya swayed, nodded, and began to reach for his wallet.

"Thank you, officers." A voice broke through, the officers and Illya looked up to see a very distinguish looking man walk up to them. "I think that I can take it from here."

"And just who do you think you are, bud?" The second officer flashed his bright light from Lexi's body to him.

"Napoleon Solo of UNCLE," Solo said with authority. "These two have come here to meet with me so I can take them home. We had an office party that got carried away and these two carried the party on all by themselves."

"Well, see that these two get a ride home." The first cop said, turned off his flashlight and lowered it. He nodded to Illya and Lexi. "Get a cab home; it's too dangerous in this part of the city to be walking around drunk."

The second officer gave Napoleon back his offered UNCLE card and gave him a small salute of goodnight.

"Thank you again, officers." Napoleon nodded politely to the cops as they went back to their squad car and moved on. He turned to the two agents who could barely hold up the wall behind them. "Well, kids, what have you got to say for yourselves?"

"Get us home before we fall over." Illya tried to snarl, but what came out was an incomprehensible slur.

"Let's walk up the block and hail you a cab. I'll look around first and then meet you love birds back at UNCLE headquarters. You two can sleep it off in Medical or one of the sleeping quarters."

"Oh, Nappy," Lexi sighed lustfully and started to mumble more to herself. "We're not going to sleep just yet. You can still join us if you like. I don't know why Caitlin says you're off limits…"

"Nappy," Napoleon asked in a stunned voice and looked to Illya, who only laughed and pulled Lexi back to be against his body. He began to help her drunkenly weave down the sidewalk to the busier side of the block.

Finding a cab was easy. One of UNCLE's taxis was waiting for them right in front of the Sundown Bar. Opening the door to the back, Napoleon ushered Lexi and Illya in and then shut the door. He gave directions to a stop near headquarters where a Section Three agent would be waiting for them.

As he thumped the roof to take off, Napoleon heard Lexi say something to Illya.

"Oh, look darling, Joe Lewis is driving the cab; he must be working with UNCLE. Joe, this is my boyfriend…"

Solo spun around to see the fleeing cab turn the corner and a white mist envelop the backseat while it traveled under a streetlight. Grabbing his communicator, he heard a loud moan from across the street in the shadows. Running over there, he spotted the real cab driver and Section Three agent trying to stand up.

"Open channel D," Napoleon shouted. "We've lost agents Kuryakin and Lane. Activate homing device on cab number…"

"Forty-seven," the driver mumbled.

"Homing device on cab number forty-seven and send an ambulance to this location."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three -

Napoleon felt helpless as he watched the cab with Illya and Lexi speed away. He looked around while he helped the Section Three agent up, walked him across the busy street, and set him down on a stoop near the bar.

"Agent Maves, if I'm not mistaken." Napoleon said and heavily sat down beside him.

He watched the foot traffic around them to see if anyone looked suspicious. Most people passing by looked curious to seeing Maves groaning with a handkerchief covered gash on his head and a thin line of blood trickling down his cheek. Napoleon absent-mindedly patted the man's shoulder for encouragement. He was trying to calculate how far the cab could get after the homing device could be activated before it was found out and dismantled.

"Mr. Solo," A female's voice said from behind him. "I believe that you may need my help."

Napoleon quickly turned to meet the gaze of a young black woman with shoulder-length brown hair dressed in a navy skirt and black jacket. It was obvious through a partially open coat, that she was concealing a gun in its folds. From the style of holster and butt of the weapon, Napoleon knew she was a FBI agent.

"You have me at a loss, Miss," he said softly and started to stand up.

"Agent Starkey, Tally Starkey," she said in the same tone when she put a gentle, but firm hand on his shoulder to prevent him from getting up.

"I don't know if the Bureau can. Seeing that one of your best is driving the cab." He tried to keep his voice calm even though he could feel his frustration of waiting for backup growing.

"Yes, I know." She stood rooted to the spot, but removed her hand from his tense shoulder. "I was sent by Gibbons to see what Lewis's been up to. I work with internal affairs.

"Lewis has displayed some inconsistencies in his performance lately. I was placed under him as his junior agent to observe him. Part of what has gone on tonight is my fault."

"I'm all ears," Napoleon said curtly and kept his face forward, watching her in his periphery.

"Well," she said, swallowed, and lowered her eyes. "I was the one who gave them that drug in their drinks."

"Why?" he asked in shock, quickly turning to face her.

"I had no choice." She met his stern stare with fleeting determination. "I had to let him use me to get to Ms. Lane. We had to find out what he was up to and who he was really working for. Why he was so infatuated with her?"

"Any clues," Napoleon asked when he started to see an ambulance slowly weaving through the traffic.

"Not much," she said, hunched her shoulders, and began to watch the ambulance move closer with the UNCLE agent. "Gibbons" thinks it's someone here in New York he's meeting with. He's using the Bureau's resources for personal use, especially our files on you, Mr. Waverly, and Mr. Kuryakin. Now, he's determined to find out about all other Section Two agents residing here in New York."

"He's fabricated an assignment that Gibbons wanted me to help him with, but wanted to keep a secret and used me to unknowingly trap her. He wants to know if she's in Section Two. What is her status anyway?" she asked. "Mr. Waverly wouldn't tell Gibbons. How well do you know this Monica Lane?"

"Well enough to know that he's been stalking her for a while now." Napoleon didn't want to give too much information just yet. "And now he's got her and my partner."

"Yes, I know," she said. "I knew it was Mr. Kuryakin, but didn't want him to know I knew. Hopefully, your partner will give you and us a fly in his ointment."

"Two flies," Napoleon mumbled to himself, stood up, and waved to the medics when the ambulance doors opened. "As soon as we get Mr. Maves taken care of, you and I will go to UNCLE Headquarters and discuss our plan of attack with both our boss."

"I agree," she said with a tiny nod. "We'll see if the tracer I planted on him this afternoon is still functioning."

MFU/MFU

Illya was instantly awake once the frigid water hit his chest and face. All he could do was gasp for breath. He tried to cough away the water that shot into his nose and mouth.

The blond man struggled to sit up, but couldn't due to the metal straps holding his body down. The thin, sharp restraints started to easily cut through his wrists, ankles, hips, and neck.

Panting, Illya opened his eyes to a bare light bulb in an exposed ceiling. He felt the coolness of the metal table top he was lying on after the freezing water ran over his bare chest and pooled under his back. His body started to violently shiver when another sweating pitcher of ice water appeared above his head.

Shaking his head, he took a quick breath in and held it as the water began to pour down on him. He made it about half way through before needing to take a staggering breath in. Illya could hear someone's throaty laughter while he sputtered and threw up the excess water through his mouth and nose.

"Ah, Mr. Kuryakin," she hummed, letting the last drop of ice water run down the lip of the pitcher, and then tapped the bottom. "I think that I got your attention."

"Where is she?" Illya asked once he was able to draw a full breath.

"She who?" the biggest black spot before his eyes asked.

"Monica Lane," he rasped out and tried to adjust his eyes. They were very slowly beginning to focus. His sight was limited by how far he could turn his head.

"Who? Oh her," the shadow turning into a woman said with a careless wave of her hand in the direction of a small cage in the corner. "She's fine for now."

Illya could barely make out a small metal box in the corner she pointed to with vertical and horizontal bars in a grid pattern. It took up about the size of a small, narrow closet. Toward the bottom of the cage, he could just make out a pair of handcuffed wrists hanging outside of the bars. The way they limply hung down made him realize that she wasn't awake yet.

The long second it took Illya to focus on Lexi's hands, was all the time his captor needed to grab a remote and start the cold, wet table to angle up. He and the rest of the pooled water underneath his bare torso started to slip down on the smooth metal surface. Painfully, the wire-thin straps kept his safety secured to the table until it grounded to a halt. Kuryakin's body screamed out in pain as his wrists, ankles, hips, and neck supported all of his weight.

"Comfortable, are we?" A cheery voice rang out behind him. He struggled to find any support under his feet or hands to relieve the pressure of the restraints that were now cutting into his tender skin and scraping against bone. Blood started to drop in little spats of red on the dull, gray cement floor.

"Just like sleeping in my own bed," Illya said in a controlled voice. "To whom do I owe this pleasure?"

"Why, Mr. Kuryakin," the seductive voice said mockingly. "You wouldn't know me. We've never met, but that hasn't stopped me from wanting this special moment with you. I do have to admit, it came a little earlier than I was expecting."

"Well," he said with a grimace. "I'm not a person to wait around. Since I'm here, why not let Miss Lane go and I'll be all yours without any distractions."

"Nice try, Mr. Kuryakin," she smiled and walked around the angled table. "But, I'm afraid that I needed Lexi Lane as a bargaining chip to get to you or Mr. Solo."

"Bargaining chip?" he asked, clearly looking at the woman who stepped in front of him for the first time and began to hook EKG patches to his chest. She softly traced her fingers over his muscular chest.

Her bleached blond hair was pulled back into a bun at the nap of her neck. Thick, black rimmed glasses enhanced her dark, sparking eyes and her mouth was painted bright red with lipstick that only made her coffee-stained teeth even more noticeable.

Illya caught the smell of her perfume when she leaned her slim body over him to attach the last lead. It soured his stomach, because it was from an old batch and didn't mix well with her body chemistry.

"Yes, Illya," she said with a nod, ignoring his trembling from the cold wetness and pain. "I can call you Illya, can't I?"

"If you let me call you Ambrosia, Miss Anastopalo," he returned with a steady calm, trying to override the pain that sang to him a tune that was hard to ignore.

"How do you know my name?" She failed to hide her anger when she snapped back.

"About six months ago, Mr. Solo and I were investigating a lab run by a rouge scientist who was using THRUSH money to develop a deadly nerve gas to be used on innocent people. If he was able to complete it, THRUSH would've destroyed half of L.A."

"Well, Solo didn't need to kill him and his lab assistant. It was bad enough that you blew up their bodies in the fire." She hissed out. She didn't care about the facts, she was still hurting. "We were to be married in the spring."

"Yes, I know," Illya said matter-of-factly. "Napoleon and I had offered your father a chance to stop what he was doing and he refused. Before we knew it, your fiancée pulled a gun on us and began shooting. Napoleon only shot him in defense. One of the shots bounced off a cabinet and hit your father.

"He was dead before he hit floor. We'd told the both of them that the timer on the explosives was set. We barely got out ourselves before the lab caught on fire. Your name and picture was in your father's file."

"I don't care who they were working for; you two took them way from me," She yelled her anger out and turned on the machine she attached to him. "And now I'll take you away from Napoleon. That's why she was my bargaining chip."

Before Illya could ask her again about Lexi's role in this, a man walked into the room. He turned to see who he was. He was dressed in a white shirt and black suit; he had FBI written all him.

"Hey cuz," the man smiled at Ambrosia and then back to Illya. "Do you know what I said when I found you with Lexi? I said, 'Holy shit!' At first, I was thrown though a loop. I'd planned to grab her dressed as a cop with a buddy I know from the police department. He owed me a favor and said that it was a game we played, but you blew that plan."

"Some game, pulling a woman off the street and arresting her on charges of being drunk in public, very ungentlemanly of you to take advantage of the situation, agent Lewis," Illya scolded him gently.

"Hey man, all part of the grand plan. I had to skip ahead a step though, but we recovered well." Lewis' smile was one of pure evil after he met Illya's gaze and held it. "You see, I've got a nasty habit that I don't get to act upon very often, but to help Ambrosia here to get to you and Solo, she's letting me have the girl to play with, a reward if you will. I haven't had a chance to indulge my inter demon since Washington, a couple of years ago."

"You see, Joe here is a sociopath and my father was trying to come up with a medication that would curb his desires to love his girlfriends to death." She turned to her cousin sweetly and continued. "Although, now I can see the attraction to feeding one's desire to kill another person. I've become infatuated with seeing you die, Illya, but not too quickly."

"It must run in the family," Illya said with sarcasm. "I have to agree that you're both crazy. Why Monica, Joe?"

"Why not," he sounded like it really didn't matter who it was. "It was supposed to be April Dancer, but she's hardly around New York these days. And I made a connection with Lexi to get me into UNCLE Headquarters.

"Besides, she fascinates me and tells me "no" when her body says yes. Waverly seems to want to keep her a mystery to the FBI. What is she, Kuryakin, a Section Two agent? Is she awake yet? I can't wait to get started. It's not fair that you started with your toy before I got to play with mine, Ambrosia."

The three of them looked toward the cage and the cuffed hands that were still hanging loosely outside the cell. Then one of the hands turned up with a raised middle finger. Despite the constant pain and shivering, Illya laughed out.

"See, Ambrosia, that's why I had to have her." Joe smiled. "It makes me hot just thinking the fight she'll give me. I'll bet that she'll hold out longer than any other girls I've had."

"Well, take her out of here and back to your own room, so I can continue my little playtime with Illya. I want to make him cry out in pain while we wait for Tally to bring Solo here to us.

"Just think what kind of fun we would have had if Napoleon had joined them in the cab. They should be following the homing device to us soon. Does she think that she's still following Gibbons' orders to investigate you?"

"Oh, yeah," Lewis said smugly. "I'm not as dumb as Tally and you think I am. I did go to college and can follow a game plan even if I'm not a doctor."

"How long do you think we have before we capture Solo and Starkey, kill him, and blow this place up?" Ambrosia excitedly asked her cousin, turning a dial on the control panel, and the machine began to emit a constant hum. "Do I have enough time to spend with my new test subject?"

"My best gestimate would be about two or three hours, top," he said while he passed through that part of the room and walked up to the locked door of the cage.

As he approached, Lexi tried to pull her hands back into the cage, but was stopped by the cuffs. She wrapped the metal chain around the metal bar while she brought her hands into the cage. She drew herself into a tight ball in the farthest corner of the small cell.

When Lewis got to the far side of the cage, Illya and Ambrosia quietly watched him unlock the door to the cell. "Now, Lexi, you're not to give me any problems or you'll have to be punished. There are rules you must follow in order to stay with me."

"Fine, I won't follow your rules and you can let me go, bastard," she hissed out.

"No," Joe said in a stern warning. "You will not swear or call me names; it's not lady-like."

Illya could hear the handcuffs scrape against the metal bar in Lexi's vain attempt to pull one of her hands out of the tight metal band when Lewis slowly opened the door. All the while she was mutely sputtering out a painful "Fuck!" in every language she knew and then she suddenly stopped.

"You're right, Joe," she said in a slightly unsteady calm voice. "I'm sorry; I don't know what's come over me. I woke up here, saw Illya over there in pain, and I got scared. I should've known I could trust you like when you found me helpless and hurt."

"Now that's how you play the game," Lewis smiled and stepped into the cell. "But you have to earn my trust, minx. If you behave and let me take off the handcuffs, I'll take you to the bathroom where you can get all dolled up for our dinner. Are you hungry? Will you do as you're told or do I have to increase the punishment you've already earned?"

"No, I'll be good." Lexi nodded quietly and held her wrists up as high as she could to him.

Joe hesitantly reached over to her with a key in one hand. Lexi smiled softly and was trembling slightly. Slowly, he unlocked one of the cuffs, staring intently down at her. Even before her wrist was out of its bond, Joe's strong hands grabbed Lexi by the neck and pulled her off her feet.

"Now," Joe said calmly. He was enjoying watching her struggle for breath at the end of his long, muscular arms. "If you insist on swearing, I will cut out that pretty little tongue of yours. I gave you some leniency this time, because you didn't know what I expect."

Illya could see that Lexi was frantically trying to breathe. Grabbing at his arms, she pulled herself close enough to kick him in the groin. Joe went down to his knees, but still kept his iron grip on her neck. With her handcuffed wrist, she swung out fiercely to hit him in the head with the loose metal cuff. Illya could tell the lack of oxygen was taking its toll on Lexi's strength by how slowly she was moving.

He wanted to go help her, but as Illya tugged on his own restraints, it only increased the pain from the thin, wire bonds cutting into his damaged skin. A snap of electricity ran through his body, making him grunt in renewed pain and colors flashed in front of his eyes.

"No, Illya, she's not getting any help from you," Ambrosia said and set herself ready to help her cousin if he needed it.

Joe staggered to the left and leaned against the back wall of the cell. He had let Lexi go long enough to put one hand up to his bleeding head and the other for support. Lexi drunkenly swayed the other way. She was trying to catch her breath, get past him, and get out of the tiny cage before the monster could recover.

Just reaching the door, Lexi felt a sharp pull on her shirt when Lewis grabbed her from behind. Holding into the thick, steel frame, Lexi pulled away from him with what strength she had left. Joe's tug was stronger and he was rewarded with Lexi slowly coming toward him.

What he wasn't expecting was the punch she threw at his neck when their bodies collided. Joe let go of Lexi to grab his throat as she untangled herself from him. He coughed and wheezed out a curt curse.

Weak and still trying to catch a full breath, Lexi again made it to the door, opened it, and stepped out. Ambrosia jogged from around the exam table to place herself in front of the fleeing Section Two agent.

Lexi took enough time to take a quick breath in and blow it out through her bangs, before she set herself to attach someone more her own size.

"Lexi, look out," Illya shouted out to her. A massive body descended on her when she quickly turned and tried to take a step out of the way, but it was too late.  
>"Oh, no you don't," Joe Lewis said in a low, rasping growl. He tackled the female agent and they both fell down to the hard cement floor.<p>

Illya heard a bone snap and cringed sympathetically as Ambrosia cheered. "Ooh, got her down on the fifty yard line before reinforcements needed to be called in. Way to go, Team Joe."

For a moment, neither Joe nor Lexi moved. It was hard for Illya to see her under the bulk of the FBI agent's back. Shortly, Joe began to cough and move, making sure that his hands secured hers when he sat up. Lexi lay motionless and then took a ragged breath in once his weight was lifted off hers.

"That, my dear, was not behaving," he said in a horse voice and heaving chest. "I'll have to teach you a lesson about trying to run away, but first we still need to get you cleaned up. Not only do you have the stink of that Russian agent on you, now you're filthy, dirty."

"If I tell you that I'm Russian and that stink will never leave me, will you let me go?" Lexi asked, letting out a soft, gurgling breath and then spoke a line of a poem in her native language and accent.

"What did you say?" Ambrosia curiously asked, but Lexi only shook her head. Illya only smiled as his body occasionally jerked from the energy still running through it from the electric shock he'd received.

"I don't care what you say you're, your American to me and if I hear that foul language again, I'll keep that promise I made about that sharp tongue of yours."

"German?" she asked, testing Joe's limits, still unmoving on the floor, and then she spoke another verse.

"No," Joe said simply.

"French?"

"No."

"Spanish?"

"No."

"Mandarin?"

"No." Joe's voice became more tight and full of anger.

"Arabic?'

"No!" he shouted out his frustration, pulled them up off the floor, and tightly wrapped his arms around hers.

"English," Lexi finally asked in the same soft monotone before she gave up a tiny yelp of pain. Joe spun her around to face him, using his grappling hold to keep her arms to her sides while securing her waist at the same time.

"No, hey, now wait a minute…" Joe shook her hard in anger. Lexi's eyes scrunched tight to silently deal with the pain the movement was causing her. "You think you're so smart? I know what this is; it's a tactic to waste time. Well, no more."

Lewis held her tight, crossed one of his arms around her back and grabbed a hold of the loose end of the handcuffs that were still attached to her left wrist. Using his body as an unmovable wall, Joe yanked her right wrist back to tightly lock it back into the handcuff behind her back.

"There you go," Joe said haughtily and he pushed the woman an arm's length away. "Those won't come off until you can learn to behave yourself."

Lexi simply smiled and spoke out in another language that neither Joe nor Ambrosia could figure out, but Illya did and he minutely nodded to what she'd said.

"It's obvious that you haven't heard what I told you." Joe said sweetly, and took her ear in his beefy hand, played with her earring, and then savagely ripped it out of the lobe in one quick motion.

Before Lexi could even gasp out a response to the pain and bleeding, Joe scooped her up like a sack of potatoes and carried her away. "Now off to the showers with you."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four-

Solo and Starkey briskly walked into Waverly's office. The older gentleman was puffing heavily on his pipe and the room was filled with a haze of smoke. Tally Starkey quickly brought her hands up to cover her nose and her eyes started to tear up instantly.

"Ah, Mr. Solo," Waverly said, letting out a puff of smoke after he gestured for them to take a seat. "Miss Starkey, I just got off the phone with your superior, Agent Gibbons."

"Sir," Tally said from inside her hand. "Did the tracer work?"

"Yes, yes," he said with a hint of frustration in his voice. "The homing device on the cab is still functioning as well. Both are still intact and point to a warehouse in the commercial district. For heaven's sake, Miss Starkey, do put your hand down! It's not that bad in here."

With Waverly's stern comment, Starkey straightened up and dropped her hands to her sides. He frowned, set down the pipe, and flipped a switch. Napoleon took Tally by the elbow, motioned for her to sit down in the chair beside his usual one, and handed her his handkerchief.

"This is the spot on the map. I've talked with Gibbons and we are both sending reinforcements, but I want you, Mr. Solo, to take lead on this. Take Miss Starkey with you and find them. I want this Joe Lewis apprehended before he costs me one of my best agents."

"Yes, sir," Napoleon nodded, standing up again. He was wondering why he only said "one", but kept it to himself. "I know the address and will stay in contact with you per communicator. Who's running the assault team?"

"Section Three agent Reese," Waverly said, picking his pipe back up again.

"I'll report to him before we take off." Napoleon turned and left the smoky room with Starkey in tow.

He was glad that the meeting was short and sweet; not only for his sake, but for Tally's. He knew that the boss was angry about having to deal with Lexi's stalker again, working with the FBI, and having Kuryakin captured as well. It's what the boss man dreaded in allowing those two to have a committed relationship with another Section Two than their partner.

But Lexi was different. She could have been his or Illya's partner at UNCLE and should easily be able to take care of herself and Illya. Napoleon could feel there was something brewing with Waverly that had nothing to do with this abduction.

Just as the door closed shut, Tally trailed long enough behind Napoleon to blow her nose and wipe her watering eyes. Realizing that he had lost the FBI agent by his side, Napoleon faltered in his hasty gait, glanced back, and retraced last two steps.

"Sorry," Tally said awkwardly swallowing. "The pipe smoke really got to me…"

"You're not the only one." Napoleon apologetically smiled, put his hands in his pockets to still them, and patiently waited for her to recover. "Most people have that effect when they first go into Waverly's office. It took Monica almost a year to be able to walk in there without losing her lunch."

"So, this Monica Lane person has been a Section Two agent for at least a year." Tally spoke her assumption out loud and gave Napoleon a critical look with her red, watery eyes.

In return, he gave her a captivating smile, making his eyes twinkle mischievously. He leaned in close to her. "Longer, it's just taken you at the FBI a while to notice. Your organization isn't always the most observant when it comes to UNCLE."

"We know more than you give us credit for, Napoleon Solo." She returned his bright smile with one of her own showing off her white teeth beautifully. "Besides, we usually don't consider UNCLE a threat unless you bring in agents or staff members across American borders without our knowledge."

"Touché," Napoleon laughed out and broke off his gaze, straightened up, and tugged at his coat sleeves. "It's time to find your Mr. Lewis and save my wayward agents. Shall we head to the parking garage? There's a car waiting for us."

"Lead the way." Tally nodded and became all business.

MFU/MFU

Napoleon and Tally slowly drove to the site where the FBI tracer and UNCLE cab were listed to be. It was at the end of a non-descript alleyway near a clothing manufacturer's warehouse that had been abandoned the year before.

Neither agent had spoken about the case and only made pleasant comments about the time of the night it was and the darkness of the sky while they drove there. Napoleon used this time to think about the last time he had seen Illya and Lexi together. It was on the sidewalk before he had helped them into the cab. He had to smile at how seductive she was toward Illya when drugged. He couldn't wait to tell Caitlin how they acted.

What Napoleon couldn't face was that if anything should happen to either one of them; those crazy Russian spies had grown on him and become part of his family. A new family he had built after the death of his parents in that car accident while he was in Korea and the death of his young fiancée. All of them were left emotionally damaged one way or another.

"There's the car," Tally's voice filtered through his thoughts, bringing him back to the present. He stopped the car and they got out.

Gun in hand, Napoleon walked around yellow cab number forty-eight in one directions and Tally circled to the other side with her weapon drawn as well. Slowly, they made their way to the front seat of the cab to find it deserted.

Lowering his gun, Napoleon pulled out his communicator pen and opened a channel. "Open channel E, attention Agent Reece."

"Reece, here," the man acknowledged. "We've set up a two block perimeter. What have you found?"

"So far, an empty car," Napoleon said while he looked in its windows, pulled out a flashlight, and inspected the car's interior.

"Look, there's a note." Tally noticed when he flashed his beam to the front passenger seat and started to open the door.

"No, Tally, don't!" Solo yelled, ran towards her, and grabbing her as he jumped over the hood of the car. They fell to the ground with a painful thud.

"What are you doing?" Tally panted out when she tried to detangle herself from him to stand up, but he wouldn't let her go.

"There could have been a bomb in that car," Napoleon said angrily, leaning over her. He could feel her body heat and smell her sweet perfume. "Don't ever open a car door without looking for a trigger switch first."

"A bit over dramatic don't you think?" She asked sarcastically, pushing him way from her. "One would think you did this just to cop a feel. I know your reputation, Mr. Solo."

"Normally, I would have agreed with you, but not right now, Tally." He sighed, stood up, and offered her a hand up. "No, the bad guys I work with everyday are not above leaving nice little presents like exploding cars when you turn the handle and open the door."

"Point taken," Tally said brushed off the dirt from her hands, and looked at the open car door. "Well, I don't think that there's a bomb in the door handle this time."

"Yes," Napoleon said with the roll of his eyes. "Let's go see what the note says."

They slowly made their way around the open car door with their guns in hands. Napoleon raised his flashlight again to illuminate both car seats before reaching in and picking up the folded sheet of paper that simply has his name written on it.

Backing away from the car, he handed Tally the flashlight for her to give him enough light to see by, and opened the note. He read it quickly and then turned it over to see if it said anything else on it.

"What does it say?" she asked, not being able to read what was on the page, because of the glare from the flashlight.

"It says go three blocks south," Napoleon sighed at the words in pent-up frustration. "They want us to work to find Illya and Lexi. He's making us run around like this is some kind of training mission."

"Let's get moving, Napoleon," Tally tugged at his sleeve and aimed her beam of light up and down the alleyway. "Which way is South?"

"That way," he said as he pointed to the building behind them and shut the car door.

Suddenly, as the door slammed into place, the asphalt ground below them gave way and they fell into a hidden service elevator shaft. The drop was steep and quick. The hard, wooden floor halted their descent with a painful, jaw-jarring stop. Napoleon felt the snap of his right ankle bones made as it bore the brunt of the fall.

The CEA's head tried to swim past the shock and dizziness that clouded his consciousness, but it couldn't. All he could do was lie on the sunken elevator's platform floor when the doors above them started to shut. Napoleon heard a terrible roar of an explosion and the ground shook from the car exploding topside. He saw a blazing fireball engulf the alley and then everything went gray with the closing of the overhead doors.

Through slanted, unfocused, blurry eyes, he could make out a human shape stand above him. His thoughts swirled around him in slow motion.

"Ah, Mr. Solo, it's a real pleasure to finally meet you and you brought Miss Starkey with you. Can I call you Napoleon? I'm sure that we'll become great friends as Illya and I have. Oh, look what you've done to your ankle."

Before Napoleon could grunt out in pain from his leg started to sing to him, he heard a hiss, felt a moist mist on his face, and then blackness overcame him.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Napoleon's consciousness came swiftly back to him from the shock of the cold water hitting his body like tiny sharp daggers. His breath got stuck in his chest until he forced himself to push the air out of his startled lungs.

His wrists were tied up above his head as he lay upon a cold metal table. Another leather strap held him by his hips. Instantly, his broken ankle started to throb in waves of pain that matched his rapid heartbeat.

Looking around the room, Solo took in the sights of the dimly lit hidden basement lab while he tried to calm his body, control the pain, and try to focus his mind. He looked to his right and saw Illya secured to a table like his, but it was half raised. His friend's eyes were tightly closed and blood dotting at the corners of his mouth. Fresh burn marks peppered his bare chest.

"Welcome to my lab, Napoleon," a voice behind said and it waited for him to finish looking at his missing partner.

The table began to angle up, putting pressure on his injured ankle when his body weight started to pull at the cuffs above his head and he slid down to make contact with the foot rest.

Napoleon groaned softly to the additional pain. He felt the wetness of warm fluid seep down his foot and it began to pool. Napoleon knew that it was his own blood from the feel and warmth of it. Looking back around to the right, he tried to stop his reeling mind by focusing on the female's voice.

"All I can say is this place is very clean," Napoleon swallowed drily. "I don't normally hang out in a lab, Ms…"

"Oh, come on, Napoleon," the slim scientist scolded him. "Illya knew exactly who I was even without personally meeting me before falling into my little trap of infatuation for you."

"Your trap for me, wait, I must have hit my head," Napoleon said, trying to ignore his ankle and the muscle tension that was growing in his shoulders. "I'm here to save Lexi and Illya from Joe Lewis. Who are you?"

"I'm Dr. Gustavo Anastopalo's daughter, Ambrosia." She shouted it out proudly. "And you killed him and my fiancé, Martin. Now you are going to die after you watch me finish torturing your dear friend and partner. And then I'll blow the both of you up like you did to them."

"And Joe Lewis?" he asked quietly. "What does he have to do with it and Lexi?"

"Lexi who?" Ambrosia asked in puzzlement. "Oh, her again, you're just like your silly little partner. Why is she so important? All she was to me was a way for Joe to get to you and Illya. She was only meant to be a ransom to entice either one of you to set our trap in motion. It was just fortunate for us that Illya was having dinner with her.

"My Cousin Joe's need to love his girlfriends to death came in handy to help me with all of this. He'll have his playmate and I'll have my revenge on you, Illya, and UNCLE."

"Well, that answers a lot," Napoleon said while he listened to her rant. "Where is Miss Starkey?"

"She fared better than you did in the fall." Ambrosia waved to the same corner that had held Lexi not more than two hours before. This time, a pair of shapely brown wrists hung out of the iron, grid bars wrapped in shiny, silvery handcuffs. "She only passed out from the shock of the fall and with some help from my knockout spray."

"And your cousin, Joe, where is he?" Napoleon asked. "Did he know that Tally worked for internal affairs?"

"Of course he did. My cousin is not a dumb man." She repeated his angry retort. "He did go to college, you know, even though he isn't a doctor like me."

"Where are he and Lexi?" he redirected her.

"Not here," Ambrosia said, ignoring his direct question with an absent wave of her hand when she checked the restraints on his wrists, waist, and then examined his ankle. "Look what you've done to your ankle."

"Well, if you're that concerned, you could let me go. I'll take my friends and leave…"

"You're a funny man, Napoleon." She shook her head and turned to pick up something off the table behind him. "You're here to die. No, to watch me test a few theories of treatment on Illya first, and then you two can die knowing I've caused your deaths."

"Yes, an infatuation, as you said." Napoleon agreed calmly and gave a subtle tug on his wrist restraints. "What kind of doctor are you?"

"A chemist, like my father, specializing in psychotropic drugs for abnormal and borderline personalities. THRUSH was giving us the financial backing to work on a project for them and we got to use the lab and materials for our own experiments on our own time. Father and Martin worked on the nerve gas and I was gathering research on deviant behavior treatments."

"Deviant behaviors," Napoleon asked, watching her tinker at his side, grabbing a cardboard cylinder, shaking it experimentally.

"Yes, I need to understand the pleasure that subjects, like my cousin, get from hurting another human," she turned back with the professional stiffness of a scientific.

Napoleon knew that look; Illya would give him that look when he was intruding on an experiment in his lab. No pleasantries or distractions from the outside world or him would be tolerated. With that thought, he looked to his motionless partner. Illya was in a more desperate position that he was.

Illya's body jerked against the metal bonds, causing new blood to drip from where they were cutting in his flesh. Napoleon could barely hear a small moan that crossed Illya's chapped lips that were caked with dried blood when he opened dazed eyes.

"Illya," Napoleon called out, but got no response.

"He won't answer you." Ambrosia said matter-a-factly. "He's a good subject to test…"

"What did you do to him?" Napoleon asked in anger and turned backed to her, tugging on his restraints. "Tell me!"

"Don't you think you should worry what I'm going to do to you before we blow up this place like the car? We know that the FBI and UNCLE will find this place once they get the fire under control and then they will all be caught in the next explosion."

"You won't get away with your plans." Napoleon said through gritted teeth.

"Threaten me all you want, Napoleon," she simply said, then shrugged her shoulders, walked up to him, and stood by his lower body. "I have you, Illya, Tally, and Joe has that little bitch of a playmate. I'll have my revenge on you and do research all in one step.

"Joe was right; it's quite the rush of adrenalin to have power over others and have them beg for their pathetic life. It took quite a lot of pain for Illya to finally scream. Will you be just as formidable? Are you ready to scream and beg for your life?"

With that question, Ambrosia slid open the spout of the container and started to sprinkle salt lightly into his broken ankle wound. The stinging pain was so intense that Napoleon's thoughts focused only on how to deal with that.

"Ahhh…"

"Napoleon, I'm not very impressed so far," she said, shaking her head. She put the salt shaker down and picked up a clip board. "Illya only grunted softly until I got to electric shock therapy."

"Naa…poleon," the name was broken up by a dry, hard swallow. Illya's voice was tight from the screaming he had done, but he looked around as if he couldn't remember why he was there. He glanced toward Napoleon, but didn't recognize him.

"I'm here, Illya," Napoleon shouted out, but then was stopped when Ambrosia poured more salt in his wound.

"No! You will not talk to him!" Ambrosia shouted in a demanding voice, then put the salt down, and jumped forward to slap Napoleon hard on his face. "All I want him to do is scream and you to watch the torture. I want to know how much you'll endure before you're willing to tell me anything I want. Or, how much are you willing to let your partner suffer."

"I'll take torture for Illya," Napoleon said softly.

"Interesting," she said, again picking up her clip board, writing something down. "But I can't let you do that until you see him physically tortured. The suffering I felt when you killed my father and Martin can never be equaled, but I will eventually honor your request though."

Silently, Ambrosia left Napoleon's side to grab what looked like EKG leads and proceeded to place them on his chest under his sweat-stained, white shirt. She then gathered the loose cords and hooked them up to a machine just like the one that was on the table behind Illya's. She had set this machine right beside the dark-haired agent so he could see what she was doing.

Turning the device on and waiting for it to start humming, she gave Napoleon a sweet smile, and then looked at Illya. He turned too and noticed that Illya was struggling to stay awake and was babbling to himself in Russian.

A burning flash of pain shot through Napoleon's body, which was echoed by his broken ankle. The shock of the electricity hit him hard and all he could do was to gasp out a cough from his constricted throat. His vision dimmed and he fought to remain conscious. He was already suffering from the shock of the fall's injuries.

"That was just the first level," Ambrosia told the UNLCE agent and went back over to the prep table. "Illya got to level three before passing out. His heart muscle is still reacting to the increasing bolts of cardio version. Then, when he was awakened up by another dose of ice cold water poured slowly on him, I started with some electro-shock therapy."

"If you observe the blood on his lips, that's where he bit his tongue. I gave him two more treatments while I waited for you and Tally to show up." Ambrosia continued on as she walked over to Illya's side and started to stretch a rubber tourniquet around his upper arm. "He didn't even flinch when the perimeter alarms went off to tell me that you were in the alleyway."

"And now, what are you doing to him?" Napoleon asked with his head spinning from the electric shock's aftermath and concern for Illya.

Illya had been mouthing silent words that even Solo didn't understand and his friend shook his head slowly. The blond man's eyes got bigger with fear after the evil lady scientist tightened the rubber tubing.

"Nyet…"

"Shh…it's okay, Illya, I won't hurt you too much longer," Ambrosia patted his hand with encouragement. Like a doctor talking to a patient and then spoke to Napoleon as she still looked sympathetically at Illya. "I want to find out how much pain is inflicted with insulin therapy. Would it be tolerated enough to be use as a treatment for deviant behavior like Joes?"

After swabbing the inside of Illya's arm with an alcohol-soaked cotton ball, she placed a nasty looking large bore IV catheter into the crook of his arm. Illya didn't even grimace, but kept shaking his head with glazed-over eyes staring out.

"Please, don't," Napoleon pleaded in a tiny voice while she watched her tape the IV in place.

"This is your fault, you know." Ambrosia glared at him with a fierce smile. "You shot my father and fiancé. Watching him suffer will be your downfall, Napoleon Solo."

"What about your cousin Joe?" Napoleon asked, trying a different tactic to buy time. "You know that he won't be able to go back to the FBI. They've been helping UNCLE track Lexi and Illya down to find him and now, you."

"Joe already knew that his days were numbered at the Bureau. His extra-curricular activities haven't gone unnoticed," the doctor said easily. She checked the rate of the IV fluid flow. "That's why he gathered all that information on UNCLE's Section Two agents, especially on his new playmate from Iowa. It's a bargaining chip for us to get a further foot into THRUSH, well, along with killing Waverly's dynamic duo."

"I thought that you were working for THRUSH already," Napoleon continued to stall her with his line of questioning.

"My father was, but they didn't want anything to do with me or Joe until we could prove ourselves," Ambrosia gently patted Illya's shoulder before she passed him to gather her medical supplies from the cupboard and refrigerator.

Popping the cap off the insulin, she plunged the hypodermic needle in the cooled medication bottle to draw the drug up. Tapping the glass syringe to raise the bubbles to the top, she got rid of the extra air before she replaced the cap.

Setting the hypo down on a tray, Ambrosia checked her watch, Illya's heart monitor, and picked up a padded tongue blade. Then she wheeled the cart with the tray on it close to the IV bottle that was connected to the incoherent agent's arm.

"What will happen to him?" Napoleon asked sadly, unable to release his wrists or look away from his partner.

Ambrosia didn't say anything. Napoleon waited a few moments and repeated his question louder to no response. Unable to see her behind Illya and the exam table because of his restraints, Solo tried to find her by twisting as far as he could to his side that his broken ankle would allow. Fearfully, he continued to watch Illya for any reaction to the drugs she had drawn up, but nothing happened.

Suddenly, a loud noise startled him from his vigil on Illya. It sounded like a metal tray had turned over and clamored thunderously to the tiled floor. The noisy vibrations echoed loudly throughout the room, filling his ears. Napoleon couldn't see or hear what was happening and continued to twist around in frustration.

Finally, Ambrosia stepped out from behind Illya's exam table. She had a funny, surprised look on her face with her hands alternated from waving around the room to grabbing at her neck.

Quickly, Napoleon could see her pale face turn red, then slightly dusty blue while her legs slowly gave out from underneath her.

Confused by her actions, Napoleon silently watched her being eased to the floor by another person hidden out of his sight behind the exam table. Ambrosia struggled with all her might to free herself, but it was impossible. The thin, black electrical cord was wrapped too tightly around her neck and was digging in. Slowly, the lack of oxygen took its toll on her and she dropped out of Napoleon's line of sight all together.

All was silent until he heard a small hiss of held air released from where Ambrosia had sunk behind Illya. The next thing Napoleon heard was Illya's exam table beginning to lower back down into a horizontal position. Illya softly cried out in relief as the metal bands around his neck, wrists, hips, and ankles no longer held his weight.

A slim figure in a flaming, red cocktail dress came around from the back of the table and started to release Illya's bonds. Looking at his wounds, she placed her hands on lightly around his neck and brought her cheek to his. What she said to him wasn't heard by Napoleon, but Illya seemed to understand enough to give a tiny nod and close his eyes.

Then, the raven-haired beauty stood up and sauntered around to Napoleon's upright exam table and grabbed the remote to lower it. He sighed out in his own relief as the weight of his body was removed from his broken ankle and wrists.

"Lexi," Napoleon said with a sigh of relief. "Right on time to save the day, I see."

"Napoleon," Lexi said with intense, no-nonsense determination while she released his hands and was starting to work on the strap over his waist, "Look what you've done to your ankle."

"That isn't my fault," Napoleon said in a testy, tired voice, sitting up with her help. "It's yours; running off with your stalker and taking Illya with you. Waverly's very pissed."

"Well, that'll give him another reason to bust me down to Section Three," she grumbled softly to herself, but just rolled her eyes at him.

"What did you say?" Napoleon asked, startled by her flippant remark.

Ignoring her immediate boss, she went over to the cupboards, opened them up, retrieved some bandages off a shelf, and proceeded to wrap his bleeding ankle. "I don't think you can walk on this all by yourself. I see that someone else has replaced me in the metal cage over there in the corner."

"That's Tally Starkey, FBI internal affairs agent, assigned to watch Joe Lewis." Napoleon started to introduce Lexi to hands hanging out of the cage. As if on cue, Tally started to moan and become aware that her hands were cuffed on the outside of the bars. "She might be able to help me walk if she isn't hurt herself."

"Good," Lexi nodded and went from Napoleon's to Illya's side nearest to him and started to dress her lover's wounds with her back to him. "Because I got a chance to quickly look around this dump trying to find Illya. Somehow, I knew that I would find you hanging around here too, Napoleon."

"The bomb…" Solo started to say through clamped teeth when he tested his ability to lift his wounded leg.

"Is taken care of," she finished his train of thought rudely, but didn't look up from her work. "Joe shouldn't have left me alone to go help his cousin with you two. It was a silly mistake that he soon regretted."

"Regretted, past tense?" Napoleon asked with the rise of an eyebrow, trying to take a hold of her hand and pull her back to him. Lexi jerked her hand away with a stoic look on her face.

"Yes," she continued on neutrally and went to gather more dressings before returning to Illya's side. "Before he left, he proudly boasted about how he set up the ignition switch, the kind of explosives he used, and the time sequence controller.

"His arrogance was his downfall. I wasn't considered a threat to either one of them and not searched very well. He didn't listen to me when I told him that I was going to stop him and his cousin."

"Ahh…what happened?" Tally groaned out loud, interrupting their conversation. "Where am I?"

"Tally, are you hurt?" Lexi called out with authority while starting to wrap Illya's other wrist. "I'll get you out in a jiffy once I finish up here."

Napoleon turned and took the time to really look at Lexi for the first time since she came to their rescue. Her hair had been roughly, half pulled out of a French twist and her makeup was slightly smeared by sweat. One of her false eyelashes was missing and her neck had bruising on it in the shape of two beefy hands. Drops of blood spattered the top of her exposed shoulders and front of her bodice. A single black stitch crudely held her left earlobe together where an earring had been.

Lexi's skin looked pale against her makeup and Napoleon watched her take in quick, short breaths where he swore that he heard a slight wheeze. She grimaced with every action as she lifted a gentle hand up to touch Illya's temples softly.

"How many times was he shocked?" She asked, looking deep into his blue eyes.

"Three," Napoleon confirmed.

"Well, he won't be any fun on a date for quite a while," Lexi sighed sadly. "But, with a little help, he should be able to walk out of here on his own, unlike you."

"Anna…" Illya choked out the name and weakly grabbed Lexi's wrist for a moment and then she withdrew from his side to reach between her breasts and retrieve a handcuff key.

With a swirl of her full skirt, Lexi walked over to the pair of hands sticking out of the metal cage and unlocked them with efficient skill. Napoleon had to smile to where she had hidden the key and saw another dangling from a cord.

He watched her move to the door at the end of the metal box and swung it open to let out its single occupant.

"Careful," Lexi grabbed the female FBI agent gently by the elbow and guided her to stand in front of Napoleon. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm getting… getting better," Tally said, shaking her head to clear it. "The last thing I remember was falling after the car door was shut and some lady spraying me with something wet. The rest is a blank."

"You didn't finish your story," Napoleon said to Lexi who had returned back to Illya's side as the CEA smiled at Tally and patted her hand. "How do you know that the bomb won't go off?"

"Because, I turned it off the ignition system," Lexi stated simply while she started to pull Illya up into a sitting position and held him there to let him get some sense of balance. "Joe had a key around his neck that controlled the computerized ignition locks to the explosives."

"What's wrong with Kuryakin?" Tally asked softly to Napoleon with concern.

"Ever heard of electroshock therapy?"

"Yes, a treatment for depression. It scrambles the brains with electricity transmitted by shock in the temple area. Leaves the patient dazed for quite awhile after," she said offhandedly and then caught Napoleon's eye roll that he directed towards Illya's back. "Oh!"

"You didn't happen to find a communicator or gun in your travels?" Napoleon shot out at Lexi and patted Tally's hand again to reassure her.

"Yes, I did, but all three of them were crushed beyond use and all the clips in our guns emptied in target practice." Lexi returned his sarcastic remark with an obvious, deadpan response. "And there's not a single phone that I could find, so the best bet is to find a way out of here for all of us."

"Well, I know roughly where we are, but you're right. Going topside would be the best bet. I'm sure we'd run into an FBI or UNCLE agent running around somewhere."

Napoleon motioned Tally to come closer to him, spun his legs down off the edge of the table, and straightened his arm out for her to help him up on one leg, draping his arm over her narrow shoulders. He grunted out in pain when his broken ankle fell below his heart and it began to throb even more.

Lexi put her arms under Illya's shoulders and slid him off the table into a steady bear hug. She was whispering something reassuring into his ear, drew him to one side of her body, and grabbed him by the waist of his pants. Once she was sure Illya was somewhat stable on his feet, Lexi walked him over to meet up with Napoleon and Tally.

"Lead the way Section Two Agent Lane." Napoleon nodded, waiting for Lexi to lead the way, and started to awkwardly hop with Tally's help to follow her out another door instead of the one she'd come in before.

"Try to keep, Napoleon." Lexi brashly said, pushing ahead, and heavily dragging Illya with her. "Mr. Waverly waits for no man."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

The loud smack of the ambulance door shutting brought calm to the madness that was the circus surrounding them when they were found by UNCLE Section Three agents when Lexi and Illya emerged from a side door. Tally waited with Napoleon at the bottom of the steps because he wasn't so sure that he could make it up them even with her help.

Lead agent Reece and another agent helped carry him up to the ambulance and set him on a gurney. The rush of questions, pain from the medics checking his bleeding, broken ankle, and his concern for his partner made his head spin after he gave in to the drain of adrenaline.

Napoleon sagged into the rubber mattress, hearing someone pound on the outside of the ambulance's metal frame and the engine's pulling the vehicle forward. The sudden quiet was so deafening that he started to close his eyes. He didn't even flinch when someone took his hand and started to push up his shirt sleeve, tying a tourniquet around his forearm.

"Well, looky here," the other medic said, checking out Illya. "Someone left an intravenous line in Mr. Kuryakin's arm tied off. That'll save us time. All we need to do is hook up another line. It's a nice big one too."

"Lexi," Illya said softly to everyone's surprise in a harsh, raspy voice.

Napoleon opened his half-closed eyes to look around the cramped back of the ambulance. There were the two stretchers, two medics, the driver, and Tally sitting in the front seat.

"Where's Lexi?" Napoleon asked and started to pull his arm away from the medic who held his arm firm when tried to sit up.

"There wasn't enough room," the medic shrugged his shoulders. "Sides, she said that she was fine and went off with Reece back down there. Did you see the dress she was wearing…?"

"I want you to get a hold of Reece," Napoleon started to order. "She needs to go to Medical…"

"Enough, Napoleon," Illya said weakly with a sigh and tried to reach out with his bandaged hand and push his partner back down by his shoulder to stay put. "She promised me that she would check in after she did clean up with Reece, get our guns for us, and retrieved her favorite knife. Sit back and let them give you some morphine. She'll report to Mr. Waverly for us."

"But, she needs…," Napoleon continued to argue, but then stopped. "What's going on?"

"Not here," Illya shook his head while the medic was listening to his chest. He knew that most medics working for UNCLE were horrible gossips. "Now shut up and let them give you the happy drug before I come over and clock you one."

"Yes, mother," Napoleon grumbled as he left the rush of coldness run up his arm. Slowly, his ankle didn't seem to bother him so much and he simply fell asleep with the stress of his injuries, job, and being up most of the night melt away.

MFU/MFU

Napoleon hobbled into his office which he shared with Illya with the help of a pair of uncomfortable wooden crutches. He had been given a week off of work to recover initially, but was reminded to come back to work to finish the mountain of paperwork that always followed him as CEA.

Illya had helped him with his pile of requests and files while he was gone. He had recovered more quickly from what Ambrosia Anastopalo had done to him, but was still not fully cleared for active duty. Dr. Allen wanted to monitor his heart muscle for weakness and irritability. Illya said if felt like he had been kicked in the chest by several horses.

"Napoleon, I see that you're back in business." Illya didn't even lift his head from the file he was working on. "How's the ankle?"

Illya had his ugly black, nerdy glasses on along with a stained lab coat. He stopped to watch Napoleon grimace, trying to walk more normally as he rounded the corner of his desk to sit down in his chair, opening his bottom drawer to set his casted foot on it, and settle into his seat.

"Ahh, it's getting there." Napoleon sighed with some relief after having to walk the entire length of UNCLE's headquarters to get to his office. "What about you. Stitches out?"

Illya lifted his wrists to show him that the bandages were gone and he no longer had a row of black, threaded knots around them. "Dr. Paul took them out this morning."

Napoleon nodded and looked down at his desk top to see a single file on it. Illya had pulled off his glasses, set them down, and went to the coffee machine to pour two cups of coffee.

"Why are you here?" Illya asked Napoleon and handed him a steaming mug. "I thought that Caitlin was back from her business travels and taking care of you. You have until tomorrow before you really need to be back."

"Today, it's the girls lunch and time at the firing range. April was able to make it this time. Much more important than me and my affliction," Napoleon said with a snort, picking up the file in front of them. "The Infatuation Affair reported by Miss Monica Lane, Section Two."

"Yes," Illya nodded, settling back into his own chair with a rusty squeak. "It's ready for your signature…"

"Why didn't you sign off on it?" Napoleon eyed his blond partner, shifting in his seat to get more comfortable.

"Napoleon," Illya leaned forward across the table. "The night that Joe had Lexi and I drugged, she was telling me that she and Waverly had had a discussion about her status here in UNCLE."

"Really," he said slowly remembering the odd remark that Lexi had made in the lab. "She was very evasive and overly professional handling our rescue. Do you remember that you called her Anna? "

"Her 'Anna' personality..." Illya said with a tinge of confusion about the affair's events, but knew what he was referring to. "She can be gruff and pretty straight forward."

Napoleon knew that Lexi would assume different personalities. It was a defense mechanism she used to endure torture and other emotions that were required to be a spy. They were a gift from the conditioning and training that she and Illya had gotten when they were young. "Anna, what does this one do?"

"The efficient senior officer that's all business, no emotions, gets the job done, and kills when necessary. Sarcastic, fair, but does what's good for the command despite what she personally thinks."

"More of that genetic coding and conditioning mumbo-jumbo from Silas and Marta and your parents, eh," Solo said with a smirk while he leafed through the report. "She did a bang up job; you and I both know it. We would've been burnt to a crisp without her."

"Agreed, but when you look through that report, you'll find it's very bare of details what happened to her and what she did to Lewis." Illya reached into his top drawer and tossed him another report at him. "She didn't tell me much either. I had to talk with Dr. Allen to find out her list of injuries besides the obvious broken rib that you told me about."

"What's this," Napoleon asked, picking up the stapled sheets of paper.

"Section Three's clean up and the coroner's reports. Reece was very impressed with her attention to detail and follow through. He suggested to Waverly that if she didn't want to be in Section Two anymore, he wanted her as his second."

"Why would Waverly ever want her out of Section Two," Napoleon asked and thought to himself before whistling. "She doesn't have a proper partner and that's why Waverly doesn't want her to stay in Section Two."

"He's left it up to her," Illya looked him straight in the eye. "Get a different partner, work for Section Three, or be farmed out to agents who need extra help, but that would be the only time she would leave the country."

"What does she want to do?" he asked with concern in losing an agent.

Another thought echoed loudly in Napoleon's mind. Who was Lexi really loyal to, UNCLE or Illya? Illya had told him about their childhood and how he'd found out about his parents and hers were part of a genetic experiment.

Illya was ordered to go to UNCLE, whereas Lexi was ordered to the KGB, but she bucked her training and orders to be here with Illya. Could Waverly truly trust her to be more on her own without a Section Two partner?

Napoleon looked over to Illya and accepted his intense stare. He knew what his partner was thinking without having to ask.

"That she's left in yours and my hands." Illya waited for him to think about what he wordlessly was telling him. "I know that I could use all the help I can get to keep you alive."

"Funny man," Napoleon shook his head, but smiled. "I always knew I picked the wrong Russian to be my partner. Do you think that she would ditch her lab partner for me?"

"Take her," Illya laughed. "She's nothing but trouble. George would be less trouble for me."

"Then it's agreed, we keep her here in Section Two, a spy for hire to come and save our asses when needed, no matter what Waverly says."

"Now that we've settled that," Illya said with a smile and stood up, "I'll go get us something to eat while we guess what our female friends are saying about us."

"You, Illya," Napoleon laughed, "Your life is too boring for women to talk about. Now, my life, on the other hand…"

"Comments like that will not get you a dessert," Illya shook his finger at him and headed out the door. "Sign the report and then I'll take you home. I've got all your work done for you already."

Napoleon chuckled and read through the neatly written report, but took his time reading the coroner's report on Lewis's cause of death. He winced at some of the brutal things that Lexi had to do in order to escape; one of Joe's eyes gouged out, a bitten off ear lobe, and a broken neck. That explained some of the blood he saw on her dress.

Lexi had brought his gun back to him, found the formula Gustavo Anastopalo was working on, and helped the bomb squad locate most of the C4 to be detonated. Even Waverly had congratulated her on a job well done.

Napoleon signed the back page of the report and then placed it into his "out" box. While he continued to wait for Illya to show up with the food, he picked up the snow globe that Lexi had given him and shook it. He watched the white, plastic flakes drift down to the bottom and smiled.


End file.
